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Pearly update
09.20.04 (7:33 am)   [edit]
Race for the Cure was awesome!! It was a great experience and I'm so glad I finally made it. My friend and I had a great walk and want to do it again next year. Yesterday, the announcer estimated about 23K people were there. This morning the Oregonian estimated about 37K people were there. Pretty incredible! It was amazing and very encouraging to see that many people show their support for breast cancer research, care, the deceased and survivors.

Well, unfortunately I got sick this weekend - last Friday morning, the hair dryer was broken so I went to work with wet hair. Now, some of you probably do that on a daily basis - but for me, if I don't dry my hair, at least 80% of it, I get the shivers, especially since my hair is long now. Then on the way home from work, it was raining cats and dogs while I walked from the bus stop to my house. Halfway between the two, my wool pants were totally drenched - I couldn't wait to change. Saturday night was when I started to feel the sore throat - I couldn't sleep very well Saturday night. I woke up at 3:00 and again at 4:00 (which wasn't pleasant, considering I had to wake up at 5:45 to get ready to meet my friend before the race). I begged God to just give me the grace to endure it, and sure enough I was okay enough. The walk was only an hour; I thought it'd be 2 or even 3. Fortunately, we grabbed some food from the vendors and I had my Halls strawberry creme throat drops.

Guess what time I went to bed last night? 9:30!!! The last time I went to bed at 9:30, I must have been 10 years old. No, I'm just joking. It's been a while. I got up at 6:40 to get ready for work, but you know, I still feel crumby and thought "Why put myself through work? What am I trying to prove? I thought I was over that phase ... " so I left my boss a message at 7 and also emailed her. Sure enough, I still feel crappy and just want to lie (grammar?) down and drink chamomile tea. Yes, I am even feistier when I'm sick.

My sister got a kitten several days ago. Her name is Lucy and she's a calico cat with a super long tail. Interesting, huh. She already hates Sammy and is scared of Julius. My mom was trying to tell her that it wouldn't work out, but I think she was just looking for an excuse to get rid of the kitten. Obviously, anytime you bring a new animal home, most likely there will be friction - which is what happened with all of our animals - and eventually they get used to each other.

This month, I'm paying off 2 credit cards - I'm so happy! My next card to pay off is Best Buy. I'm really sad about it, because I absolutely love Best Buy, but if I don't get it paid off by March 5, 2005 I'll have to pay $200 worth in deferred finance charges.

Update on stress action plan: I've been doing a lot better. I recently got a couple books about women and business, my favorite "What it Takes" by Amy Henry from last year's Apprentice. That's not exactly the focus of the book, but it is dealt with in the chapter about emotions. There's no denying I'm a really emotional person (heck, I'm a chick) but it's just learning to handle emotions that in turn reduce stress. The way I'm trying to see things now is primarily through God's eternal timeline: what seems like a huge mistake or embarrassing moment for me is just a speck of dust in the timeline of my life. There's no use in fretting over it, because ultimately He uses everything in our lives for good. No one ever said life would be easy and predictable. It's how I handle those unexpected turns that define my spiritual (and emotional) maturity.

Well, I think I'm done typing for now ... my nose is running and there's no more tissues by my laptop.
 
My brothers are crazy
09.09.04 (8:28 pm)   [edit]
So I've been taking the bus to work lately and it has been such a blessing. I know what you're thinking: bus and blessing in the same sentence? Pishaw! Seriously, I really think it couldn't have happened at a better time. I'm really working on just taking it easy and trying to enjoy my work days more. Anyway, everything about taking the bus is a blessing. My bus stop is the last stop in zone 2 before becoming zone 3. This means that I pay $49/month instead of $60, which is the fare for travel within all 3 zones. The bus I take goes along one of my favorite routes in Portland - John's Landing, the Water Tower, Taylors Ferry ... even though I still bring that book I borrowed from the chapel, I always end up gazing out the window because of how beautiful everything is. When I drove I obviously didn't have that luxury. Funny how your interests change with time ... I remember when I was 16 and 17, and I rode the bus without a second thought. Then when I got a car, taking the bus was NOT an option. Now, the thought of someone else driving around (plus saving $100/month) is joyous. I get more time to think about what I need to do for the day. Most importantly, I get more undivided time to pray. Pretty neat ... Of course, I'm only taking the bus to work, because going to Clackamas to see my best friend isn't necessary ... Today when I came home, I had to go to Old Navy - so as I was driving off, I could see my youngest brother and our dog chasing my car down the street. He was flailing his arms like he was drowning and I think he might have been screaming. I was just laughing at him the whole time, because he likes to do that for kicks. Our neighbors thought we were crazy a decade ago, so it doesn't matter what they think ... Then tonight, after the Apprentice, which I'll mention in just a second, my dad came into the living room and demanded to know where the salt was. My other brother mumbled something like "Uh ... the last time I saw it, it was under the couch ... " Sure enough, there was the salt - under the couch. Yep, that's my family for you. Apprentice 2: This will be a very interesting season. The Apprentice is my all-time favorite TV show and I swear it's educational for anyone with any degree of business experience, whether it's strictly from the classroom or from years of experience. This season's candidates are more argumentative, sassy and vocal at this point in the game than the first season's. They're almost borderline insubordinate, if you ask me - Mosaic members cut off The Donald and his associates on more than one boardroom occasion. Here's my tip: Assertiveness is necessary in that it articulates to others you're confident, but utilize caution when you're caught up in a heated discussion. You may be the brightest and the most skilled, but eventually people choose to surround themselves with individuals they like and can relate to.
 
Countdown to Race for the Cure & Intro to Tiny Dancer
09.05.04 (4:46 pm)   [edit]
2 more weeks until Race for the Cure. Or in my case, walk for the cure. I'm going with one of my really great girl friends, and we're going to do the 5K walk. I'm so excited to finally do this!! Having the breast cancer checks is not enough ...

Anyhew, my other cousin is visiting me this weekend with her hubby - I'm so glad he came. My family has been pining for him for quite some time now.

Church was good today - I got my answer on how to devise a new perspective on handling stress. Can't really articulate it right now because I'm thinking of this banana cream pie that I bought ... It's really funny because every time I go to my mom's church, I always see several little kids totally fascinated with my younger brother Mike. Not sure if I mentioned it before, but he's a dead ringer for Harry Potter - althought the resemblance is played down when he gets a haircut. The little kids - they're usually anywhere from 2 - 8 years old probably - gawk, gaze and stare until they make eye contact with him. But it still continues. There's this one kid that we christened "Tiny Dancer" that we're always on the look out for. Tiny Dancer is this frail, dark-haired little pixie girl that dances in the pews and anywhere else her twinkle toes happen to fall on. I'm guestimating that she's probably no more than 3 or 4 years old. Her hair is cut boyishly short; but her bob only enhances her flair for the ultimate girlie dresses and poses. Tiny Dancer loves to show off her new moves; recently they appear fresh off of a Nutcracker show. Today she was standing up in the pew the whole time and fortunately didn't distract anyone by falling down again.

Well, suddently I've grown bored of toddler tales and now I think I'll go check on that banana cream pie ...
 
Giving our troubles to the Lord
09.04.04 (12:01 am)   [edit]
A few nights ago I went with my mom to the chapel to pray. Before we entered the sanctuary, I noticed a bunch of books outside the room and a bulletin board with postings. I was thumbing through the books and came across one called "Live Passionately" and thought it looked interested. Sure enough, I was immersed in the book before realized I hadn't entered the chapel yet. So I brought it in with me and later asked my mom if I could borrow it. "Sure," she said. "As long as you return it."

I've been reading it since then and I have to tell you this book was meant to be read by me. There's so much basic spiritual points that I really need to focus on, especially lately. All these things have gone wrong and instead of putting my trust in God, I've been dwelling over them and agonizing about how the heck I could have made such stupid mistakes. Fortunately, God also speaks to us through others - if I was in a fellowship group right now, I probably wouldn't be feeling as behind. I've talked to some co-workers on how to deal with stress better and they've all given me great advice.

So my mission for this weekend is to come up with a stress action plan. My fight or flight response needs to be analyzed and through God's grace (and a few epiphanies that'll probably happen when I least expect) I'll learn what things are out of my control, and for the ones that aren't, I'll learn how to deal with them without feeling so guilty.

If you are feeling especially stressed or just beating yourself up for something you did, let me know and I'll pray for you, too. You don't even have to send me a message - I'll just pray for you anyway. God bless!